Well, I haven't commented in a few days, so In decided to go through some old files on my computer and look for something to post. I came across this poem I wrote like six months ago or maybe even longer than that. I write a lot of things beecause, well, I just do, ok? I wrote this poem after I had finished a book about someone with a hard life, but then they found Jesus. I have yet to come up with a name, so if you have any suggestions, leave it in a comment. Anyway, here is the poem:
My heart cried out in anguish,
I needed one last wish,
All whom I loved was taken away,
And I was afraid the hurt was here to stay,
Jesus looked upon my strife,
And spared me of my terrible life,
My heart cried tears of bitterness,
My heart's pain became less and less,
My heart cries out in joy and love,
My hope has come from above,
He loves me more than I could ever know,
My heart has been cleaned white as snow!
Okay, so did that poem have spiritual truths like I hope it does? *smiles hopefully* I won't be able to post or leave comments until Sunday or Monday, because of the book signing tomorrow when I meet Bryan Davis. I am so excited! Sorry, Araken and Ian! Well, I got to end this post of mine and go eat some caramel cheesecake. Yum! Thanks for reading and please comment!
God bless you!
Sapphira Adi
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.png)
8 comments:
Yo quiero!
Ahhh!!! I haven't commented here in a really loooooooooooooooong time!!! Sorry Sapphira! I thought the poem held many spiritual truths, and I think it definatly lives up to the expectations!!!
Hey! Awesome poem!!! IDK bout a title. How old were you when you wrote that?
ps. FYI, I found ur blog link on Zoe's blog.
So you don't get the picture taken! Congratulations!
Great poem. May I make a suggestion or two, though?
I'll give you one of them: your rhythm often needs work. It gets a bit difficult to read poems with such varying rhyhms. (Remember, I'm not saying the poem was bad, I'm just trying to help with the structure :). I'll give you the other piece of advice, if you want it.
:)Ian(:
The other one might sound slightly harsh, by the way (if the last one didn't).
:)Ian(:
Sounded good. It's amazing how many things you write, and then forget about!
Okay, you wanted it - it isn't THAT harsh, don't worry. :) Sometimes you seem to go a bit easy on the rhyming, if you know what I mean. I hope you do, cuz its sort of hard to explain...
Ah, whatever, I'll explain it: you use a lot of words that just end in certain sounds, but don't necessarily match the rhyme-rhythm of your poem. I've seen a lot of people do that...I used to do it myself, but then I got really picky about my own poems....and everyone else's...
Just a few words of advice. But don't stop writing!
:)Ian(:
It sounded great! Keep it up!
I wish so badly that I could write like that!
Post a Comment